Gratitude

"We can only be said to be alive

in those moments when our hearts

are conscious of our treasures."

I used to be a really positive person.

I mean really positive.  I was a happy, well-adjusted teenager.

I suddenly realized this week that it has been 10 years since I was 16.

And something happened in those 10 years.

I was very involved in my church when I was in high school.  I had a lot of great friends, a boyfriend whom I loved and I did really well in school.

I suppose it happens to a lot of people as they move from their youths into adulthood.

I went to college.  My boyfriend broke up with me.  I started questioning everything I'd been taught by the church.  Etc., etc., etc.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the positive outlook that I once had.

I've been noticing recently just how negative I've become.  How often I complain about my day.

And, in turn, how anxious I am.  How unhappy I feel.

I personally believe that there are some people who thrive off of this negativity.

I believe it gives them energy and keeps them going and helps them to deal with their own problems or loneliness.

But I don't believe I am one of those people.                

When I stop to question my unhappiness, I can't even figure out why I feel that way in the first place.

I love the work that I've been doing lately.  I love my family and I see them often.  I get to spend my days with the love of my life.

So what on earth do I have to be unhappy about?

Small, insignificant things that I end up obsessing over.  It's addicting.

If you react to something with negative thoughts and anxiety, you're more likely to react that way the next time something happens.  You have to break the cycle.

That's where gratitude comes in.

There is a solid chance that you have heard Oprah talk about this.  The power of gratitude.

"Be thankful for what you have; 

you'll end up having more. 

If you concentrate on what you don't have, 

you will never, ever have enough."


-- Oprah Winfrey

Oprah recommends keeping a gratitude journal.  It is one of the simplest things that you can do each day and it makes such an amazing difference.

Each day, write down 5 things that happened that you're thankful for.

That's it.

I've been keeping one this week.  Only for 4 days actually.  And I truly have noticed a difference.  

If you take 5 minutes to stop and think about the good things that happen to you each day {things that otherwise you might easily forget} there is a solid chance that your outlook on things will change.

I have been doing it either just before I go to sleep, or first thing in the morning I will reflect on the previous day.  I think that I prefer to do it this way because it is such a positive start to my day.

I encourage you to try it.  

Life is beautiful, it's a blessing and it is too short to spend obsessing over things that don't matter.  

Things that make you anxious and sad.

Focus on the good.  Be happy.

"If the only prayer you said 

in your whole life was, 'thank you,' 

that would be enough."

Until then.

What Now?

It was during the past year that I really began to worry about what I was going to do with my life. I suddenly realized that I didn't have very much time to figure it out. I began frantically searching for something that would make my life mean something, something that would make a difference in the world, something that I could be remembered for.

This realization didn't come about because I'd been out of college for two years and still didn't really have a "real" job, or because most of my friends were settling into their careers or getting married or getting pregnant, etc. etc. etc., (although all of those things were true.) No, this realization that I had only a few months to do something, (and to do something great,) came about for one reason and one reason alone.

Oprah announced that her show was going off the air.

The Oprah Show began in September of 1986. I was 9 months old. I grew up with Oprah and as I watched her historic final season, her 25th season, I couldn't help but feel that we somehow were kindred spirits, as it was also my 25th year.

So, why my sudden rush to do something meaningful with my life, you ask?

To get onto The Oprah Show, of course.

I've mentioned to you that I want to write. I have several great ideas for books and I work on each of them from time to time. Well, in the past, my daydreams of having a book published always led to one place...sitting next to Oprah.

So, during this past year, my daydreams were dreadfully interrupted. I cannot tell you how many times that I have caught myself thinking, "this is such a great idea...I can totally see myself being interviewed by Op...God DAMN IT."

And I'd be willing to bet that I am not the only one mourning the loss of my childhood dream. A lot has happened this summer. And as I've watched these inspiring/touching/tragic/shocking/scandalous stories flash across my televion screen, there has been one truth that has continued to shock me more than the stories themselves...these people will never be on Oprah.

Let's take a moment to consider who might have been on the 26th season of The Oprah Show.



The newly split...


The newly wed...


The inexplicable...


The newly rehabilitated...


The end of the world...


The genius...


The end...


Caught with his pants down...


Caught with his pants down...


Caught with his pants down...



Right?

And that's just off the top of my head. Who is going to interview these people? Who is going to help us to make sense of all of this?

In all seriousness, though...dear, Oprah...thank you.

Thank you for giving a kid from Jacksonville, Florida a reason to believe that she would one day end up sitting next you. You gave me, and so many others out there, a reason to believe that I had something worthy to say.

And so, today, Oprah, three months to the day after your last episode aired...I just want to say thank you. And that you will always be missed.