Thursday, October 3

The Graceful Bride

Six months ago, I wrote this about how stressed out I was trying to pull off the wedding of my dreams.

That was the last time you heard from me.  So, first things first…

We pulled it off.

3 months ago, Brian and I were married on what was and is the happiest day of my life. 

What everyone said was true, it went by in the blink of an eye.  The only memories I have of it go by in a beautiful, hazy blur.

So, if I could give you one piece of advice about your wedding, it would be this:  it isn’t about the wedding.

As the year went on, the to-do list of every detail I’d ever imagined when I dreamt about my wedding slowly fell away and all that was left when I dreamt was the image of Brian standing at the end of that aisle.   In the final weeks before the big day, I remember telling several people, “just get me down the aisle to Brian.”  So love each other well, because at the end of the day, I promise you that’s all that really matters.  The clasp on my dress broke, my hair fell out, we were shiny with sweat in several pictures because it was so em-effing hot…and I could not have cared less.  A calm washed over me the day of my wedding and there wasn’t a single thing that could have stopped me from enjoying it every step of the way. 

So, if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: just trust that you’re going to get to that point, too. 

Something else that I learned this year was that the wedding may be about the bride and groom...but it isn’t necessarily for them.  People want to believe they’re in the presence of true love, {thanks, Wedding Crashers} and that is the truth.  When you are engaged, you’re making plans to celebrate the fact that you've found somebody that you love enough to spend every single day of the rest of your life with.  People want to be a part of that.  You’ll be asked 100 times about your plans.  You'll hear the words, "are you excited?!" every single day.  People you haven’t seen or heard from in years will suddenly want a little piece of you, of your happiness.  And if there is one thing that I wish I had learned would be to give away those pieces gracefully.  Because what I have is truly amazing.  I am beyond blessed by my love with Brian.  At first I felt protective of it, it is our day after all, not theirs…but I finally did find that grace. 

And if I were to give you one piece of advice, it would be this: know that there is a freedom that comes with that grace.

The moments that I remember most vividly from that day are the moments where I got to be alone with Brian.  Kneeling at the altar at the end of the ceremony, standing together waiting to be announced at the reception, whispering to each other during our first dance, and finally on the boat leaving the reception.  The funny thing about weddings is that you don't get to be alone together all that we cherished those moments.  Those moments where we got to say, "hey, we're married..."

So, if I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: steal moments away with each other.  Find grace.  Love each other well.  Let go of the details.

Our wedding was and is the happiest day of my life.  I can't think of a single thing that could have made it any better.  And I can't wait to share it all with you.  There are so many people I have to thank.  So many stories I have to tell.  

But until then, I only want to thank my husband for three amazing months of marriage.  I love you.

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