Blinded by the Light

Pardon my French, but blind dates suck.

They're terrible. I hate them.

The only dating I've done in the last 3 years has been blind...

When you move back to your hometown after college, and you work odd hours with small children...you don't meet too many people. Or, rather, you don't meet too many people who are old enough to date.

But you do meet a lot of people who are in their early 30's and have small children.

And people in their early 30's seem to know a lot of single men that they're excited to hook a young, single gal up with.

So, you get the awkward first phone call.

"Hi, Brooks, this is __________________, I'm a friend of ___________________'s."

Like we both don't already know that I've heard about him and told ________________ that they could give ________________ my number...

A bit of chit-chat, and then setting up the date.

Then, for me, the dread sets in. I am somewhat of an anxious person. And blind dates make me anxious.

It's not so much that I'm worried that he won't like me. Or that I won't like him. It's the awkwardness that I dread. And, of course, my anxiety over the situation doesn't make the first meeting any less awkward...which makes me more anxious.

Vicious circle.

So then there's the first meeting.

I've had about half of them pick me up for the first date and half of them meet me at the bar or restaurant. It doesn't matter. It's all awkward.

So there's the handshake/hug/kiss on the cheek. The, "it's nice to finally meet you," and "so...are you ready to go?"

My first blind date after college was with a friend of Mia and Lucy's parents.

I feel like Carrie writing her Sex and the City column. Didn't you always wonder why she was never worried that writing about her problems with her dates might be awkward for them?

Oh well, in honor of Carrie's courage, I'm going to power through.

This first date of mine was almost 40 years old. I knew this going into it but you can't find the prince without kissing the frogs. Or whatever.

It was a great first date, the awkwardness didn't last long and he was a perfect gentleman.

He was just old. I couldn't get passed it. And I'm not ashamed to tell you that our kiss goodnight still gives me a small panic attack to this day.

He was old.

(No offense to my 35+ readers. I was 23. You can't blame me.)

So, then there was the texter. Never got the, "Hi, Brooks, this is _____________," phone call. I got the text.

Which was fine, I get it. I'm uncomfortable, too, and we are the Steve Jobs generation.

We had a good first date, at least I thought it went really well. He told me he'd love to do it again, (in a text,) and I heard from him a lot in the next couple of weeks, (more texts,) and that was it...

No second date. Just a lot of texting. So, finally, I stopped texting.

Now, the same thing always seems to happen when a blind date doesn't pan out. The people who set you up get very quiet. Your family and friends that were excited for you tell you to keep your chin up and not to give up. And you feel disappointed but not altogether surprised.

So, then there was the younger guy. I've never dated anybody who was my age, let alone younger. 40 was pushing it, but I've always liked older men.

And at this point I was over blind dating. I had just moved back in with my parents. I'm trying to figure out what my next step is, where I'm going to live, how I'm going to get my photography business going. I don't have time for another awkward set up that isn't going to go anywhere.

But the people setting us up were persistent, and I'm a sport. It's just one night.

Again, it was fine. A good first date. Nothing traumatic or over-embarrassing.

But then something happened that I did not expect...

We went on a second date.

And a third and a fourth.

Now the people who set us up are gloating. My family and friends are calling me a. lot. to talk about it. And I'm surprised to be smiling so much.

I can't channel my inner-Carrie enough this morning to give you any more details. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll work up to it. Until then.